Life, is what has gotten in the way. Oh, and work mornings that start with me getting up at 4am. Not so much fun when you’re out in the blazing heat of the desert. But that’s beside the point!
Things have been great, and not so great all at the same time. I can’t quite pinpoint exactly where all the feelings are coming from…but they’re there. At least I have my brother’s awesome girlfriend to send me cute pictures of my Honey:
I sure do miss that face. All this moving and being away from family and Whit is getting harder and harder. Yeesh. But, I have been spending some time with friends on the weekends! For instance, last weekend was Bobbi‘s Birthday in which we had a girls night out! I was able to go out with them and enjoy some great food over the course of 24 hours!
It was fun being able to hang out and be a girly girl again, even if just for a little bit. Because currently, my wardrobe has consisted of this every single day:
Nice, right? Hrmf. What you can’t see if the gallons of sweat I’m carrying around with me! LOL…ok, enough of my field grossness. Oh, but I have been seeing some great animals lately!
Ah, the wonders of nature…this is why I do what I do, so I can see these wild things in their natural elements and environment!!!
Anyhow, besides being outdoors for work I’ve been hitting up the mountain scenery just West of where I live for some gorgeous hiking. Reminds me of where I used to live just a few months ago; boy do I miss the mountains.
Isn’t that gorgeous? 8,000 ft in elevation and just amazing!
But things have been other than amazing, and this is where the hard stuff comes into play. Maybe it’s the exhaustion (remember, 4am wake up calls and working in 100+ degree heat), maybe it’s the loneliness or just…other things, but my body dysmorphia has been in full swing. I don’t think I’ve been able to go for a day in the past few weeks without really beating and getting all crazy on myself. Obviously I used to go to my counselor and could call her up for an appointment for some help, but now that I’ve moved it’s not as easy. We did discuss having some phone sessions and I plan on calling her ASAP to get one set up and see if it helps.
It’s been a hard road the past few weeks to say the least. I’m trying hard to stay motivated and positive but we all know how we can stray from the strength that holds us there. I guess not being able to really pin point where the anxiety is coming from doesn’t help the situation and as soon as I’m able to figure it out, things will get easier and more bearable. I hate that this is starting to happen again and really despise the feelings, but all I can really do at this point is work hard to overcome them. Not an easy task, but an attainable one.
So hopefully you will bear with me as I try to get through this rough patch. I would love to be blogging more but for right now, it’s just not the case. I’ve had little motivation to talk about anything really, even though I would really love to.
Until next time…Happy Belated Earth Day and I hope you did something wonderful for the environment.