Side Notes: Calorie Counting and Giving Thanks

[[Side Notes: Calorie Counting and Giving Thanks

I notice this every time I go on a vacation: I don't count any calories and it never crosses my mind. I enjoy my food, eat the things I want to eat without guilt and move on. But when I'm at home its like I'm sucked into this trap of needing to know how many calories I have consumed. I spend hours trying to avoid it most days but come dinner I usually break down, count everything up and from there decide what I'm allowed to have for dinner. Its a ridiculous pattern I can't seem to break.

I don't know if it's the holidays going on right now that is making me so anxious about food, or that I can't run.  It's probably both, along with having to see an abundance of people I don't see often that could potentially drop a comment (that I'd probably take out of context) and rattle my nerves.

But I think on top of it all, I'm bored.  And when I'm bored, I eat.  I'm trying my hardest to come up with things to do, like go for walks, start scrapbooking again, go birding, read tons of books, and so on...but I can only do that for so long.  I'm a restless person, and without the ability to really break a sweat and not continue to hurt my leg/hip, I'm at a loss.

There is one thing that was brought to my attention before Thanksgiving by my counselor and I have yet to really recognize and give thanks to: Whit.

Rereading and discussing some things with my counselor has brought to light that I am most comfortable when I am with him.  I don't worry about calories, I don't worry about my clothes, I don't worry about what I look like or should, and am able to smile more than frown.  I know Thanksgiving was last week and I should have given thanks to Whit then, but better late than never, right?  I'm so thankful that Whit came into my life and has brought so much comfort and confidence that I have been missing for so many years.  I can only hope for so many more years like it...

Who were you thankful for this year? ]]

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7 Responses to Side Notes: Calorie Counting and Giving Thanks

  1. Hang in there – the holidays are tough, but you’ll get through. It’s good that you know you have someone to rely on. :)

  2. You have no idea how happy it makes me to read this :)
    I love hearing that you’re happy!!!
    This year: I’m thankful for Adam, my family, and all my friends, without whom I wouldn’t have been able to get through the last year. Love you!

  3. Krista says:

    I eat when I get bored, too. Ugh….
    Be sure to lean on that man of yours whenever you need to!

  4. Allison says:

    I went through a very similar process when I was recovering… Vacations= freedom, home= mentally trapped… Weird, eh? Thankfully it still counts as a step in the right direction and it always helps to have people around who support you :)

  5. Amy says:

    I am the same when I’m on holidays, it’s as if I have enough mind space to just listen to what my body wants and enjoy it and move on. But when I am surrounded by the familiar I slip back into calorie counting again. My job in weight loss research probably doesn’t help either….
    This year I am thankful for my sister. She has been with me through some really great times this year, and when I needed her recently because of some bad relationship things she was the first to comfort me. I am thankful for her every day.

  6. what a great post. I feel the same way you do. i cant just sit and find random tasks to do for too long without going insane. my husband ryan is my rock. he likes me with or without make up. thinks i am most beautiful in my oversized sweats and a hoody, and he loved me even at my highest weight. i am thankful for ryan because i truly believe god brings people into our lives for a reason, and without him, who knows where i would be.

  7. Livia says:

    I’m recovering from anorexia, and while I’m in a place now where I can be trusted to feed myself, it’s still a struggle emotionally. I realized that I had developed an aversion to seeing people that I don’t see often, out of fear that they would say that i looked different, or make a thoughtless comment about my appearance that would ruin my day and leave me pissed off and upset.

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