[[Side Notes: Too Hard on Myself…
This post is similar to the post I did on the Lessons I Learn, because I had something of the same morning except it wasn’t hunger that had gotten to me, but something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Honestly, as I’m sure you can tell just from the lack of blogging and effort into it, I’ve been in a rut in well, most aspects of my life. Since the San Diego Marathon I have had very little motivation to run, which doesn’t help with the heat and amount of field work I’m doing (which = no working out time). It’s left me haggard because I have nothing to release my stress out onto.
Being out in the field also means I don’t have time to create very portable meals that will work well in a hot environment and not put me over the edge with my appetite, which has been going from nothing to everything in taste and amount as of late. I’m also working insanely early hours so it totally messes up what time I eat compared to when I sleep (ie I eat breakfast at like, 5.30am but still end up having dinner around 6.30. Boo) so I’m on a bit of an edge.
In all of this, even though I’m doing all I possibly can, I am still beating myself up for not doing these things for myself, along with my body. After I posted the other day about Asking For Help, I had one commenter (Hi Linda!) let me know how hard I was being on myself and it was just too much.
I mean, I know I’m hard on myself because I always have been, and have been able to manage it in the past few years, but not right now. I love that she helped me realize all the things that I’m doing and conquering, and to make me realize that even when I get things done and they might not feel good enough, THEY ARE. I am doing the best I can and being the best I can right now and really, it’s what counts the most.
So after having a bad morning, where I just felt “ick” and wanted to (I’m sad to say) skip my snack and lunch, I read over your lovely comments from so many of my Side Notes, took a deep breath, and pushed through the day. I focused on the positives, like getting in a nice hilly run with my running buddy (whom I haven’t run with in a long time!), eating fresh organic foods to nourish myself, and finally getting a chance to visit the Farmer’s Market in town, where I ended up running into some coworkers/friends!
As slow as it’s coming to me, there is only so much I can do to make myself happy with well, myself. If myself doesn’t like that things I’m accomplishing and thinks I need to do it better or do more of it, then well, that part of myself can come and do it itself! Hahah…which I guess technically is still me…but…you get the idea, haha.
Let’s just say that I’m going to bed in a better mood than I was when I woke up. Definitely speaks for having a turn around day, right?
How do you turn around your attitude when you’re being too hard on yourself? Tell me one awesome thing about yourself that you’ve accomplished lately to help remind yourself what a great and hard working person you are!