What Would You Do?

[[Side Notes: What Would You Do?

So, I don’t know if any of you watch the show “What Would You Do?” on Friday nights but I find it a very interesting show.  Basically they setup different circumstances and see how and if people react to the situation going on. 

Anyhow, I was watching an episode in March that really hit a cord with me, which included a young girl who met a modeling agent at a restaurant and basically belittled her on her size, even though she is as tiny as a whiff.

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(Source)

I loved that there were definitely people who came out of their seats to confront the agent and console the young girl.  At the time I thought, would I have done something similar, or anything at all? Would I have been brave enough, or too scared?

Today, it happened.  Seriously, it could have been right out of the tv show; no joke.  I’m standing in the freezer section of the grocery store sulking over the prize of frozen berries when I overhear a mother talking to her daughter.  Behind me just happens to be the section filled with frozen diet dinners, like Lean Cuisines.  At first I don’t realize what they’re talking about until I really listen and she says, “Now pick out a bunch of these so you can take them to school and we can work on losing that pudge you’ve developed.  We don’t want you going off to college like that.” 

I could not have been more floored.  To me, commenting on people’s weight is seriously one of the worst things you could possibly do and I refrain from acknowledging this when I see old friends and such, and instead focus on the things they have accomplished, like running a race or traveling to a new place.

Anyhow, I couldn’t help but feel so much pain for this girl that I wanted to cry.  Her mother told her to look around and would be back to pick up the dishes she would choose.  I watched as she just stood there, staring at the package in her hand, head hanging low.  So, I decided to be brave and say something; anything.

I walked over to her and said, “Excuse me, and I’m sorry for eaves dropping, but I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation your mother was having with you.  Please believe me when I say that beauty is only skin deep.  I’m sure there are many things you have done and will do, to be so proud of.  Do not let your mother bring you down by telling you you need to lose weight, because you don’t.  I don’t know you, but when I look at you I see a gorgeous girl.  I’m sure you have much better things to do other than lose weight, because like I said, you don’t need to.”

At first I thought I scared the crap out of her because she just stared at me with a very blank look.  I thought I might have done the wrong thing, when tears started springing from her eyes.  Then I started to cry and it was a sob fest in the freezer aisle.  I quickly reached into my wallet and handed her my blog card and told her that if she needed someone to talk to, to email me anytime, or just check out my blog.

So young lady, if you’re reading this, you are a strong woman.  I don’t know you, but I’m sure in one way or another, you ARE.

What would you have done in that situation? Would you have said something? ]]

~~

Breakfast was cold and quick. Protein powder, frozen banana and strawberries, spinach, USVAB, rice puffs and go lean crunch.

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It was a long morning but man oh man was it fun!  We found some new area to survey and checked out a gorgeous and pristine riparian area with more migrating birds than I could count or sadly, even ID.  Thank goodness we had one of our best birders with us to help with that!  Such a great experience!

I was supposed to do some more hiking but ended up being informed I would be doing it tomorrow, so I quickly at my pb and strawberry sandwich before hurrying off to do more surveys!

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(Sorry for the very recycled picture, I was in a hurry!  So disregard the apple)

I was pretty tired while I was driving so what better than use chocolate as a pick me up!  I love Odwalla’s Chocowalla Bar.  No joke.  Even though I hate eating almonds in any way other than almond butter.  Eep.

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I had an orange and a few baby carrots throughout the afternoon but was totally craving something savory and crunchy, which I had none of.  I ended up hitting up the grocery store and buying cereal (geez, go figure) and having a bowl for an afternoon snack before my run.  I ended up running an easy 4 miles in which the last 1/2 mile was hard because half way during the run I smelled something familiar: WILDFIRE!!!  There is one raging to the West of me right now but everyone is so damned engrossed in covered the stupid royal wedding I can’t figure anything out about it!  Ok, rant over, but it blew in a serious amount of smoke in a very short period of time, so I was hacking by the time I got home.

You can bet I was starving for dinner and since I’m going to be gone for a week plus I’m trying not to buy any produce or perishable foods, hence the repeat of foods the past week or so.  Sorry for that.

Tonight was nothing exciting, but I did get fresh eggs from Ginny so I made two and topped them on toasted sourdough vegetable bread with the last of my roasted butternut squash and some diced tomato.  Was delish, but compared nothing to dessert.

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Dairy free vanilla ice cream with chocolate attune granola munch.

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Oh.yeah.

THREE MORE DAYS!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

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34 Responses to What Would You Do?

  1. claire says:

    I definitely think you did the right thing! A lot of our views and tendencies towards food come from our mother's relationship with food and sometimes we have to break that rule for the better. It breaks my heart to hear about mothers who try to belittle their daughters by bringing up weightloss. Instead of talking about weight, they should talk about healthy, organic, natural foods like grains, fruit, vegetables, etc. I hope this girl comes to your blog and sees how inspiring you are.

  2. Tori says:

    That was so great of you! I'm sure the girl really appreciated it. I know I would have. Parents aren't always right, and in this case definetely not. Her mother may love her, but she clearly has no regard for her feelings. Sheesh!

    You on the other hand, would be a great mom! :)

  3. Joanna says:

    First off, I really love that show! It shows how great..or horrible everyday citizens can be. It's a real eye opener to me and I hope if and when confronted by any of these situations, I could do the right thing.

    Secondly, what you did was just a beautiful thing and I only wish that it was on TV so you can be recognized for it. There needs to be more kindhearted people like you. That's just awesome and I hope the girl does see your blog because it's just an uplifting place to be.

  4. squigglefloey says:

    You COMPLETELY did the right thing imo. Such a beautiful post! You almost had me teary-eyed!
    <3 so excited for you and your up-coming trip! Can't wait to read a re-cap. Be safe and have a blast!

  5. Anna says:

    WOW! Seriously…props to you for saying something. Do you realize…at that moment, she could have either been led on a path of depression, self destruction and low self esteem (because of her mother's comments) or freedom, new perspective and intervention, because of you! And since you stepped up and intervened, she is able to take the path of freedom, confidence and loving herself etc. Without you, she may not have had that option! You seriously just changed her destiny. I hope that if I ever have the opportunity to do that, I will.

  6. Sophia Lee says:

    You're so awesome, Melissa. My admiration for you is growing. I think I would have beat the crap out of the mother. Mentally, not physically, because I'm a coward. :-p

    But seriously, it's up to us to stop these kind of negative comments. I suppose we are just one small person, but it's "small" people like you that START a difference. Great work, Melissa. :-)

  7. Katy says:

    OMG I am absolutely flawed by you selfless deed! You are a wonderful human being, Melissa, you really are!!! You have just done what no one else would have had the guts to do. WOW!! Seriously. You probably changed the way that girl thinks about the world, ya know? It's like finding an operation beautiful note but BETTER!!! You're amazing, girlie. I'm so honoured to know you :)

    xxx

  8. Nicole @ Of Cookies and carrots says:

    You are absolutley incredible and this brought tears to my eyes. Way to make a difference. Honestly. I have overheard too many horror stories of daughters who are not at all fat whose mothers seem to think it's okay to tell them they are… And it just isn't.

    I am so incredibly inspired by you! :)

    <3
    n

  9. Kristy Sayer says:

    You absolutely did the right thing – that is so honourable! So many people would have stood there, afraid to speak up. I'm sure this girl will be forever grateful for what you said and will always remember it – you could have completely changed her life!

  10. Ms. M says:

    Wow – you do did the right thing. It is amazing how what people say around us – can affect us for the rest of our life.. especially food. I remember when I was younger, some "friend" called Jenny Craig – saying they were me and that I needed to lose weight. Yeah. Funny. Not so much – it definitely hurt an already bruised self concept. Different fom your story – but that sort of stuff stays with you!

  11. Emma says:

    I am so impressed with your courage in talking to that girl! Hearing this story inspired me to do the same if I am ever in a similar situation.
    Once, in Target's dressing room, I heard a mother and her daughter fighting in a nearby stall. The mom was insisting that nothing looked good on the girl and that everything was too small. It broke my heart to hear that but there wasn't really anything I could do besides knocking on their stall door, which would have been a bit creepy. However, I hope I have the courage to say something next time!

  12. ~ Diana ~ says:

    OMFG. You go girl. My mom did the same exact sh*t to me all my life and although I love her dearly, it's made me the most insecure person..ever. It sucks. Glad you said something and I hope she's strong enough to know she's worth MORE than that…can you imagine what she goes through at home? CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR ROMANTIC TRIPPPP

  13. Carolyn says:

    Good for you! It's so awesome that you spoke up. :) That's the way to LIVE Operation Beautiful.

  14. Amy Lauren Scott says:

    I think you did the right thing, and honestly, that was super brave of you doing that because I probably wouldn't have said anything to either person, but would've shook my head and felt REALLY horrible for the girl. I also saw that episode of that show… the same thing happens when clothing shopping, you can hear people in the dressing rooms saying how fat they are and how nothing looks good on them, it's super sad :(.

    A.L.

  15. Gabriela says:

    I'm really glad that you said something. I have a similar relationship with my mom, where she wouldn't let me eat the same things my brother did and would always tell me to "suck in" or "take more pride in my body." Looking back, I wasn't healthy because I didn't exercise at all and ate absolute crap, but I was in no way overweight. If someone had said something like that to me, you have no idea how much it would have meant. You're a wonderful person for speaking up like that :)

  16. ELC says:

    I am floored that you actually said something. Good for you!!! You might have planted a seed of strength that will be with her forever!

  17. Little Miss Sunshine says:

    There's tears in my eyes for reading that story. It saddens me that anyone are being put through cruel situations like that, noone deserves that kind of treatment, certainly not from their love ones.

    Ten thumbs up for what you did! Hugs a million to the poor girl!

  18. espector says:

    Melissa, I am so impressed that you said something! I have been reading your blog for a while now and have found so much inspiration as I have been going through my own recovery. Thank you for staying honest out there and looking forward to more posts! If you are ever out in NYC email me!!

  19. Carey says:

    That took a lot of strength and courage on your part, way to go!

  20. Abby says:

    Good for you for saying something! I think you handled it completely correctly. I'd like to think I would have said something too, though I don't know.

  21. Katie says:

    WOW! Seriously, so wonderful of you!

    I have seen that show several times and often wonder what I would do. Hopefully I'd have the courage just as you did to confront the situation!

  22. Abby says:

    You are so brave and strong! Good for you for reaching out to her like that! I'm sure she'll never forget it! You planted a good seed :)

  23. mindrunningwild says:

    I can't tell you how much emotion this post brings to me. I would have hopefully done the same thing and I've definitely done it to people I know. We will never know what would have happened to her if you had no said something, and perhaps we will not know what happened to her because you did but I know that SOMETHING changed inside of both of you, I'm sure, and it warms my heart to see how something so simple as a comment can change someone's life. You inspire me.

  24. Erica says:

    Wow….I've heard Mother's do some major fat talking in front of their children at the store…but I've never heard one of them say something about their childs weight to the child. That is just …wrong. I think you ROCK so hard for saying something. And I hope she checks out the blog. I'm not sure if I would have the guts to say anything- but I definitely would have shot the mother SO many nasty looks.

    Breakfast looks awesome. i want this combo. And I haven't had sourdough bread in a while- I need!

  25. Cbrady3 says:

    Wow. I am so freaking inspired by the fact that you did that. I don't think I would have had the courage to say something, but I'm sure you totally made her day. Way to go Melissa!!

  26. bitt says:

    I love that you intervened! I have done the same thing with parents who are ignoring or hurting their kids in other ways. You never know what difference you might make.

  27. haley says:

    You are so amazing. I don't know what I would have done, but I'm glad that you were able to gather enough courage to speak to that girl… it makes me believe that I might have the courage to do that too. It happens ALL too often in our society, and if WE don't speak up, who will?

    Hooray for Kauai!!

  28. Rachel says:

    I really admire you for reaching out and offering support like that. If I had been her, I would totally have appreciated that. You're accumulating good karma!

  29. cw and jrw says:

    wow! you did the right thing. i dont know if i would have the courage to do that if i were in that moment, but i hope i would… you definitely are an amazing woman & inspiration! -cw

  30. Missy says:

    That is so, so, SO beautiful….and you know what? That healed you both a little.
    Use your voice….you do everyday on your blog and help so many.
    So Beautiful, Melissa.

  31. Katie says:

    Good for you! I think you really did the right thing… no one should have to hear that, especially from her mother. College is hard enough as it is without pressure from someone who is supposed to be a comfort to you!

  32. Kaitlin With Honey says:

    Oh, Melissa, good for you. I bet she will remember that forever. This post made me cry!

  33. Katy (The Singing Runner) says:

    This made me tear up. I know that it meant a lot to that girl that you spoke up! Thank you for speaking up and doing such a beautiful and brave thing! I absolutely look up to you!

  34. Runeatrepeat says:

    Melissa, you know I totally love you, but I love you 10x more for being so brave and awesome and doing that!

    I don't even have words to describe how cool I think that was.

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