I Believe…

[[Side Note: I Believe…

…that one day I won’t automatically think of a banana as 110 calories.

…that measuring cups and spoons won’t be essential when I make meals.

…that I won’t schedule out my food based on what I had the day before, earlier that day, or in the future.

…that I’ll enjoy a meal for it’s contents and the love put into it from friends and family.

…that I’ll be able to look in the mirror and love what I see; every inch of it.

…that exercise won’t be to burn off calories.

…that I’ll be comfortable in my own skin.

…that I won’t be afraid to buy a baked good at a bakery spontaneously.

…that I’ll find the courage to step out of my comfort zone.

…that alcohol won’t always be considered “empty calories’ and never consumed when I might be able to enjoy it with the company I’m in.

…that negative and fat talk will be eliminated from my vocabulary.

…that I won’t always be worried about a food that isn’t on my “safe list” or outside of my routine.

…that every morning will start with a smile.

…that food will no longer be my enemy and only my friend.

…I believe one day I’ll be able to say all of these words with complete confidence.

What do you BELIEVE? ]]


It was a fun day out in the field day, and full of some awesome eats.

I might have started off my day with some chocolate:


(FYI: it’s a bread and not a brownie/blondie…so I didn’t start off with dessert for my day…hehe)

Of course I paired it with some more healthy stuff, gosh…


And then had some snacks throughout the morning… 


while staring out this small window for almost 8 hours today…


While fearing for my life as gators bellowed around me I scarfed down a vegetable and cheese sandwich


And a kiwi with the skin.  Yes, I eat and enjoy the skin.  Extra fibre; nom nom.


And then completely geeked out when we caught a juvenile Wood Stork! (this is actually #2, I missed taking pics of the first one)


How cool is this bird!  It looks almost prehistoric!  Like a terradactyl!

You can bet he/she was pissed.  Who wouldn’t be if something 5x’s your size was man handling you?


But I couldn’t not hold her/him…ahhhh…WOOD STORK LOVE! 


And to celebrate?  I gave into peer pressure and living up life with things like Nutter Butter Cookies…


And I totally ate two. 


They were delicious…since I haven’t had them in years.


I was famished by the time we disassembled everything, lugged it and packed it all back up to bring home.

I was supposed to run, but hunger definitely vetoed the former.  I made up some scrambled eggs, and they were absolutely mouth watering. 


Why do you ask?  Because I added DRIED ROSEMARY



I actually sautéed up some onions with garlic, then added in some cauliflower and broccoli and at the end two well beaten eggs (helps with the fluffiness I love!)  I topped it off with lots of fresh and locally grown tomatoes and an ear of local FL grown corn


And a Chilean mango, just to make sure I was eating international.  Haha…ok, that wasn’t really funny.


And now I’m snacking on chocolate pretzels (because obviously I totally need them sitting around in a blind all day; whatever) and still need to shower after the field work today.

I know, gross.  Tomorrow will be worse.

But it’s also my last day of work.


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23 Responses to I Believe…

  1. ktbwood says:

    this is a BEAUTIFUL post!! i believe in you!! I believe that one day we will be in heaven where NONE OF THIS STUFF WILL MATTER! our worldly worries will go away, and we will have just complete joy.
    LOVE those nut butter cookies!

  2. Runeatrepeat says:

    I hope you can think of bananas as yummy and great with PB one day soon :)
    And I need to start drinking more instead of being afraid of alcohol calories. Life is too short!

  3. Jenny says:

    I try to believe in the same things- and I believe in the beauty behind those thoughts!

  4. theemptynutjar says:

    i believe that u have a wonderful blog.
    i believe u r pretty neat.
    i believe life is hard.

    i hope there is more.

  5. Katie says:

    Are you thinking about posting the recipe to that choc. bread? ;)

    One day I hope to stop counting and obsessing over my body, especially with my stomach. I know that one day I want to have children and in order to do that I have to be healthy. I need to be preserving my body, not killing it.

  6. Amanda says:

    I love the "believes" at the beginning of this post. Beautiful! (I have to admit that I think of bananas that way, too…)

    I enjoyed the eats, too… very yummy!

  7. famishedtofantastic says:

    I believe all the things you just posted. I could have written exactly this. Good luck to you!!! You will do all these things one day.

  8. Emily says:

    I believe all of those things for you, too. And writing them helps you believe, too (I really believe in the power of the written word).

    You have a crazy intense job. I would have passed out if gator were around me. How do you know they didn't want to eat YOU for lunch?!

  9. Diana says:

    Yep, I believe all that too. :)

  10. Katie says:

    Hi There
    I stumbled upon your blog from http://www.graduatemeghann.com. Hopefully this doesn't sound weird but I started reading a lot of your backposts – I can officially say – I've been where you're at. I still struggle every day with getting over my eating disorder. I, like you, am a runner vegetarian now. I developed an ED in college. I just want you to know – you are definitely not alone in any of the things you think or write. This last post "I believe" was/is beautiful. You can and will get there! It's a journey. I still work on it every day – and I've been "recovered" since 2003…but as you know – we're always in recovery. You're a strong woman and an amazing environmentalist! Keep doing what you're doing:-) I believe you can!

  11. Gabriela says:

    this is a BEAUTIFUL post girl!! love this list….i'm printing it and taping it to my desk RIGHT NOW. You are beautiful, and you totally deserve all of those things…recovery is a slow process, but one day you will get there love :) hopefully we all will! enjoy your last day of work!!

  12. Heather says:

    Good luck on your last day of work.

    That bird looks awesome – thanks for the pictures!

  13. Jessica @ The Process of Healing says:

    Amen. LOVE this post. I believe that one day we will both be able to say those things and they be TRUE. I also believe that we will all realize how beautiful we are and stop comparing ourselves to each other and to unrealistic images.
    LOVE those cookies!! Haven't had them in YEARRS!
    Love you!
    P.S. Your job is INTENSE girl!

  14. moretolifethanlettuce says:

    "and i totally ate two" was my favorite part of this post lol. go you!! that's one step closer to being able to buy baked goods spontaneously :). i believea ll of those things too, and some of them are already coming true! it's definitely a process, so we have to be patient with ourselves, but we've gotta challenge ourselves at the same time: hence the nutter butter! yay! gators? yikes! you're so brave!

  15. Lisa (I'm an Okie) says:

    I think your side notes are my favorite thing. I kknow what you mean about the banana. I used to see an apple as 21 grams of carbs. Silly huh?

    and a nutter butter? yum!

  16. Natalie says:

    great mantra! i believe one day you'll believe it all too…and it's going to be an amazing journey :)

  17. Jenny says:

    YOU have this power to achieve this. YOU have control. YOU can decide to change your outlook on food and exercice. YOU are strong and I believe in you more than you know <3 love you so much girl, so so ridiculously much! xoxo

  18. biz319 says:

    I enjoyed reading this post and hope that someday you will be able to do all the things you mentioned.

    YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Don't ever forget that! :D

    Hooray for last day of work!! I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

  19. whataboutsummer says:

    I believe that one day I won't have to worry about how much I eat/exercise and it won't hold me back anymore.
    I believe that boys need to wear their pants around their waist- I keep seeing men "sagging" their pants and it's just not attractive to see them with their belts cinched around their knees (completely unrelated- sorry)

  20. Krista says:

    OMG…why were you in that tent for 8 hrs? EEk!

    That mago looks super sweet and tasty.

  21. Vaala ◪ says:

    I love your side note today. I believe that these will all be true for you one day. Don't give up the hope :)

    I have a little list of affirmations on my mirror that I see every day to remind me of just who I am…I guess it's a little like your list and sometimes when things are tough I chant them in my head and the calmness comes again.

    Ooo, and that bird is really really cool!

  22. brooke says:

    Wow. What an amazing post. I had major issues in college (early to mid 90's) and, like others, can relate to having known exact calorie counts of all foods. But your writing is so amazing that it immediately brought me to tears — I am there with you, I know what you feel.
    Keep the faith, y'all, because life is short! :)

  23. Melissa says:

    I want all of your beliefs to be true ASAP. You deserve to be happy and healthy. Not stressing about food.

    I struggled with similar things for years…and I'm so glad I've reached a more comfortable relationship with food and my body.

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