[[Side Note: How To Move Past A Bad Event
Oh what a start to the weekend. I slipped and fell, HARD.
Where do I even start?
Simply put, I made a mess of my own head yesterday. It was an early day, with more field work and I was exhausted. I returned home after 4 hrs of driving, 4 hrs of field work and was just out of it. I ate a fairly early lunch out in the field but it was filling, and tasty. We returned home and I cleaned up then got to work on applying for new jobs. I was really tired and having a hard time staying awake to work on all the resumes, cover letters and reference worksheets.
So I had a bit of cereal as a snack. Then the cereal became two bowls. Alright, that’s cool. But I just kept going. A coworker offered up some chocolates from an Easter package and I ate a few candy eggs. That’s fine. Lets just stop there.
But then I was still tired, lethargic and barely functioning. And I started snacking on a trail mix I made with M&M’s, chocolate chips, cranberries, cashews and peanuts. I ate right out of the bag. I don’t even want to know how much I ate but I’m pretty sure, it was more than I needed. Actually, I’m sure it was more than I needed, because I shouldn’t have had any in the first place since I WASN’T EVEN HUNGRY.
And that last fact, is what makes me mad in the first place.
After feeling pretty guilty for letting myself go like that, I was informed that the crew was going out to dinner. OH SHIT. What the hell am I going to do? I so desperately don’t want to go and just crawl into my bed and let the night take me away since I’ve ruined my eating for the day. I feel like a failure and want to cry my eyes out. But I have no one to cry to and no where to go.
I sat on the floor for a bit in the shower before leaving, thinking about the whole situation. And I turned the entire experience around.
Me: Ok, so I overate earlier. I recognize it; that’s good. Now I know next time that really, I just need to take a nap and, I was probably super dehydrated from not drinking enough out in the field so drink some water first.
ED: Who are you kidding? That food? It’s going to go straight to those hips and thighs that you’ve been worrying about for the past few weeks. You’re failing at your own goals; so miserable. And now you’re going to go out to dinner? Have you looked at the menu? Do you know what you can get? Better yet, what lie are you going to tell to get out of eating there?
Me: This is not happening. I realized what happened and I’m going to move past it and learn from the experience. I will not look ahead at the menu and I’m sure there will be something there for me to eat and feel comfortable without skimping. There is no shame in what I did; it might have been a mistake but I’m moving past it and not going to let the guilt ruin my last night with my coworker who is leaving tomorrow.
ED: But you can’t. You must restrict. I mean, you didn’t even exercise today. You didn’t run, and you didn’t strength train like you said you would. And if you try to justify some exercise as walking out in the Everglades burn you’re kidding yourself. You probably walked a total of well, not enough.
Me: As I used to have bad food days and want to start fresh the next day, I’ve learned to actually start fresh with the next meal and balance everything out. TAKE THAT.
(Mixed Vegetable Roll Sushi)
ED: Ok, so you got what you wanted at the restaurant. But I still won a bit since you kept it lighter than normal and didn’t really get the top dish that you really wanted from the menu.
Me: Ok, that may be the truth, but I still enjoyed my food. I ate all the sushi and enjoyed the seaweed salad until it was too salty for me to eat. Now I’m home and ready to have fun with the birthday being celebrated today.
ED: That’s nice, have fun with your friends. But I really think you should go off and go for a walk, burn some of that dinner off. Better yet, do that and the strength training you were supposed to do today. And don’t even think about having the dessert you made for the birthday girl.
Me: No, no exercising. I will not let exercise take away from social interactions anymore. I’m sticking around, AND I’m going to have some of the dessert I made.
(Homemade Oreo Crust Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Cake)
ED: Don’t do it. Remember…your hips…your thighs…FAT.
Me: Shut the F up. I’m having some, it’s my favorite ice cream flavor. (I had about three bites off my bosses slice. I actually couldn’t eat much in the first place because it’s ice cream = lactose = me being lactose intolerant = not good results and an unhappy tummy.) AND I LOVED IT. And even better, I still had room to laugh with my friends afterwards.
ED: Yeah, we’ll see about that.
I went on and enjoyed the rest of my evening, laughing and fooling around with everyone until I went to bed. I was a bit anxious as I laid there trying to fall asleep, but alas I rested peacefully and all the way through the night.
Until this morning.
ED: Get up fatty. You need to run. Not only because of yesterday, but because you’re not doing anything today and it’s supposed to rain all day. Get up.
Me: Well, I’m already up, I might as well do something. I’ll run a few miles, but nothing too strenuous or outrageous. I want to be able to do a long run this weekend.
((Off I went to run my normal 3.6 mile loop. It went fine. I came back and in time to see my coworker leave to return home))
ED: You’ve got time, lets do a few more miles. And some calastinics. You’ve been such a slacker.
Me: Fine. Damnit, I can’t believe I’m giving in.
((Off I go to run 1.6 more miles and bring up a total of 5 miles. Those last miles were fartleks too))
Me: Ok, I’m done; I’m tired.
ED: We’re not done. Do your strength training and calastinics. NOW.
((15 minutes of strength training and calastinics began and ended, without a smile on my face. It was so hot and humid, I knew I should have just stopped.))
Me: Ok, I’m done. I’m tired, completely drenched in sweat and therefore dehydrated, and I’m kinda hungry.
Hence the title of my post. I exercised for all the wrong reasons.
Over the years I’ve been able to move away from running to “burn off the calories” to run to “get stronger, improve my times and enjoy exercising.” But this morning was the exception. I must confess, I had calories on my mind the whole time running and thereafter.
But after cleaning up and getting ready to head out to the field, I snapped out of, realized what I had done and how I was thinking and realized, I could start making better decisions right then and there.
So I didn’t like the food choices I made yesterday, so I’ll make better and a bit more balanced ones today. Meals were balanced, full of flavor, nutrition and satisfying.
Breakfast: Fage Greek Yogurt with strawberries, a peach and Heart to Heart.
Snack: New Lemon Ginger Gnu Bar
((Seriously I loved this bar. It was such a great flavor and not too overpowering for my subtle tongue. I remember having a Lemon Cranberry Ginger Bar from Honest Foods in 2008 and thought that was way overwhelming. Maybe they’ve changed the recipe since then, but I liked this bar way better! Thanks Gnu Foods for sending me some samples!!!))
Lunch: YouBar Customized Protein Shake Powder: Vanilla Dream
I blended it with a frozen banana and blueberries and some unsweetened plain almond breeze. It was such a great shake! I normally am not a shake/smoothie person but this one had a great balance of flavors AND it kept me full for almost three hours!
And served it as a smoothie in a bowl topped with some Heart to Heart.
Snack: 1 1/2 apples and two carrots (brain food for job applications)
Dinner: Strawberries and Pineapple
Flat Out Pizza with marinara, lentils, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, bell peppers, onion and fresh basil.
Dessert: Mini pack of M&M’s mixed with some honey nut cheerios and peanuts.
As hard as it was the past few days, I’m accepted what happened and feel good now. I know what I did wrong, and right all at the same time. I’m proud of how I got through those obstacles and hope they don’t happen for a very long time here after, well actually, ever again. A bit farfetched, but it’s good to hope. ]]
Happy Friday to everyone and I hope you have some great adventures planned for this weekend! I wish I could report that I have something fun to do, but I really don’t. I kinda have my life to catch upon since this week was crazy with work. And I need to start applying for new jobs. I feel like I’m always applying for them!