My Best Bird

I know it’s only Tuesday and not Birding Thursday, but I submitted this for an Audubon Contest and thought I would share it all with you.  Enjoy.

“In the spring of 2009 I took my first field technician job in Central Florida. I was told my job was going to be long, hard, frustrating and extremely dirty; studying birds in the hand is never easy. But, I never knew how rewarding it was going to be. I arrived with so much excitement, and was immediately thrown on an airboat. Being the amazing machines that they are, we jolted forward into the heart of Lake Tohopekaliga. The wind and splash of the lake water was amazing to feel, and leading us straight out to one of the most amazing birds on the lake, the Snail Kite.

I had never seen one in my life; I did not even know what they looked like until two months before I took the job. But the second I saw one, I knew. The slate black of his body was amazing, the vibrant orange of his beak, and piercing red of his eyes were unmistakeable. He took off into the air with the noise of our engine, his white rump reflecting the sun and harsh cackle filling the air above us.

I was speechless in his presence. I watched him in awe and then the best thing happened, there were so many more. First it was an adult female rising up out of the typha, followed by a first year bird, which was almost hard to distinguish next to the female. But one after the other, they soared into the sky, then back into the typha to hide away from our company.

I spent 6 months studying these birds across Central Florida and the Everglades and still to this day, cannot remember a time I have been more impressed by a bird.”

(Hard at work…or play.)

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Cleaning House

Being stuck inside from the cold and rain means I have a lot of time on my hands…so, I clean.  Cleaning is not my favorite thing to do, well, except for vacuuming.  I don’t mind doing that…somehow, heh.

Anyhow, with the shopping I’ve been doing trying to update my wardrobe from 5+ year old running shirts and jeans and cargo pants stained with mud and oil, I figured it was about time I went through all my clothes to clean house and donate.

My life previously meant I was moving around every 6 months, and couldn’t buy many new clothes because I needed all the work gear I could keep.  I lived out of a large suitcase that contained all my clothes for work and…very little going out wear.  Being in my current residence now has given me the opportunity to purchase new and nicer clothes, although there is nothing wrong with my old clothes…they’re just out of date for me as I’m, I guess you could say, growing into myself.

So I piled everything up and even went through all my running shoes, to see that I sure had a lot to donate!  I mean, there are 3 pairs of running shoes and 31 t-shirts in there!  I even got rid of my favorite pair of jeans that I’ve been holding on to, hoping I might be able to fit back into them some day…but no more!  I know I will never fit back into those jeans ever again…so out they went.

Oh, and along with my die hard converse I’ve had since…2004.

Oh my little converse…you have done your duty for the past eight years, breaking and fading out, but Whit said it was time for some new ones!

Aren’t they so pretty, and clean?  Haha!  They’re a bit stiff of course, and I’m getting used to there being that star on the side (not a fan, my old ones didn’t have that) but I like em’!

So, what did you do this weekend?  Clean like me? I know many of us were stuck inside because of rain/snow/ice…

P.S. I finally went to the doctor’s today to get my hip checked out (I know, it took me for freaking ever) and I have a strained piriformis which is aggravating my sciatic nerve to the point where my leg basically gives out from under me if worked hard enough.  It sucks hard core, because it’s not a typical running injury, so I’m not sure when I’m going to be able to get back to running.  I do however, have a consult with an exercise physical therapist next week so hopefully in due time, I will be back to pounding the pavement!  Fingers crossed…every single finger, toe, leg and arm…haha.

Posted in Fashion, Running | 8 Comments

20 Things

1.  What is one of your favorite ways to spend a Saturday?

Normally I would love to go for a long run, but that’s not happening right now.  So as of late, I’ve been enjoying a nice cup of green fruit tea and a good book!

2.  List your top three favorite TV shows.

Parenthood, Bones and Happily Ever After! I’m addicted to them!  Oh, and Revenge!

3.  Would you rather be in pictures or take them?

I’ve always been the picture taker.  I try to make pictures more than just, smile for the camera kind of quality!


4.  Why do you blog?

I blog because… I just want to.  It’s fun because I get to make friends through my blog, recover through my blog, and spread environmental awareness through my blog!

5.  Share five websites that you visit regularly…

Gmail, iGoogle, Google Reader, Foodgawker and Twitter.  Guess I like Google…haha.

6.  If you could have lunch with one person from your Twitter list who would it be?

The president of World Wildlife Fund!  I want to pick that company’s brain!

7.  List a few of your favorite snacks.

Hummus and crackers, banana bread with pb, smoothies and lots and lots of cashews and trail mix.  I eat way too many cashews and pistachios!

8.  Do you have a pet? If so, what kind?

I have a crazy cat, Honey. I adopted her from the Humane Society almost two years ago!

(She used to be so tiny and cute…hehe)

9.  Which three material possessions would you struggle to live without?

My flip flops, baseball caps and laptop.  What can I say, I’m pretty relaxed…and really don’t need my cell phone.

10.  What’s your favorite drink?

Cucumber water, homemade! Soooo refreshing!

11.  Do you enjoy cooking?

I enjoy baking more than cooking.  Breads, cakes, muffins, pastries, those are more my thing…I tend to cook the same things over and over again because I’m always afraid I’ll mess it up and make it taste awful!

12.  Do you have children?

Does a fur-baby count? Haha

13.  What are your favorite hobbies?

I love traveling and exploring new places and trying new foods!  Running has been a hobby of mine since as far back as I can remember and reading is a huge part of my life too.  But above all, birding is probably my biggest hobby, since it’s my job too!

14.  Would you consider yourself to be shy or outgoing?

So shy…

15.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?

Oh geez, is it sad that I don’t know what to pick?  One thing, I would recover completely from my eating disorder, if that even exists.  I am tired of living my life with one.  Otherwise, I want a new colon; my current one hates me with a passion.

16.  Who is your favorite actor/actress?

Actor:  Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor

Actress:  Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock

17.  What’s the coolest thing you’ve done this week?

I cant’ say I’ve done anything cool…maybe that I was dedicated and did all my strength training for the week!

18.  Do you live near your family or far from them?

I guess it all depends on your definition of far and near…but I live about 150 miles away from my parents, about 170 from one of my brothers and 3,500 from my other brother!

19.  List three of your talents.

I can play the piano, flute and piccolo

I make really good cheesecake, even when I mess it up (haha)

I plan really great surprise parties! I’ve never had one not be successful!

20.  What is your greatest attribute?

I think it’s my growing spontaneity.  I used to be a super crazy planner but now am more of a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of girl which I think makes me more fun!

Posted in Home | 10 Comments

Birding Thursday: Golden Eagle

Birding Thursday: Golden Eagle

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done my Birding Thursday series, hasn’t it?  I apologize if you missed it…but now it’s back, and with what is now becoming one of my favorite raptors, the Golden Eagle.

This bird is absolutely magnificent.  I have seen it on several occasions flying and perched, but have also had the privilege of seeing one up close and personal.  It always amazes me how large they are, with their wingspan varying from six to seven and a half feet!

Golden Eagles are fierce birds, adorned with long talons and super sharp beaks to prey on small mammals and even defend their food from other predators like wolves and bears.  They are used as hunters by different tribes around the world along with their feathers by the Native Americans.

(Juvenile bird)

Juveniles and adult Golden Eagles are very distinct, and it can take them up to four years to gain their full adult plumage.  In the picture above, you might notice the white patches underneath the wings and below the rump; this indicates a juvenile bird, typically a first year bird.  As the bird ages over the years the white patches diminish and they become a brown or rufous color underneath. It’s simply amazing to me!

(Adult Golden Eagle)

Living in the Central Valley of California means I live in an area where they are most abundant.  There are lots of areas with rock outcrops where they like to build their nests, which can produce one to three eggs, but only once a year.  They are known to use the same nest, but often rotates between two or more between every breeding season.  The nests are huge, ranging anywhere from five to six feet wide and two feet deep with a nice comfortable bowl in the middle.  The biggest one ever seen was twenty feet across and eight and a half feet deep!  That’s one luxurious nest!

(Babies!!!)

I hope you enjoyed this week’s Birding Thursday!  If you ever see a Golden Eagle make sure to give it a good look and take in the beauty of it soaring in the sky…they are such majestic birds!

Posted in Birding Thursday, Birds | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Completely Vegan….Soon?

Oh the debacle.  I have been going around and around this for many many months: Should to become a full on vegan?

I am already basically there because of many reasons which I feel I have never explained, and I think by the end of writing about all of them…may convince me to essentially become a full vegan!  Hah…oh the irony.  Anyhow, there are several overall reasons why I decided to go vegetarian almost 9 years ago, and vegan now.  Let me explain!

1. The Environment

(Wild horses near my apartment)

- You all know how important the environment is to me.  I live to preserve what is left of every unique wild area and to restore the areas that are in dire need of help and rescue.  I have read so many articles about how 70% of the original Amazon Rainforest has been deforested and is now geared towards agriculture and growing livestock for human consumption.  There are also studies that talk about the amount of pollution occurring from livestock fecal runoff creating dead zones and irreversible topsoil erosion, that 8% of the global freshwater sources are used on livestock, and contributing to greenhouse gas emissions aiding in climate change.  My heart hurts just thinking about all of deforestation occurring, the loss of so many endangered or threatened species, and the suffocation of our coral reefs on every coast.

2. Health

(What I got this week in my local and organic produce box)

(Good ol’ Farmer’s Market)

-To me, not eating meat is only one part of the equation of being vegan.  Some may say that I’ve taken it to the next level or too extreme, etc. but I believe that going local and organic is also a big part of being vegan.  By limiting the amount of miles that your food has to travel and what is used to grow it is important to really making an impact with this way of life.  I believe that without the use of herbicides and pesticides on our food we are decreasing our likelihood of getting cancer, diabetes or a plethora of other diseases.  Not only that, but you limit the amount of pollution and rises in levels of nutrients like phosphorus and nitrogen that suffocate various plants and fish.  Plus, you can also get to help out the people in your community and learn more about your food from them first hand!

3. Animal Cruelty

(On a ranch I used to work at)

This is another huge factor for me. I’ve read the books and articles, watched videos by various organizations like PETA and documentaries like The Cove, and seen and smelled the dairy and meat farms first hand from the highway.  The conditions in which these animals are housed in, the torture they go through and how their lives are ended to become something on your plate just isn’t something I could ever stomach (no pun intended, hah).  I don’t think that anything with a working nervous system should have to live a life in a hell like that, it just isn’t humane when you could simply just, not eat them.

~~

So, my problem right now that is keeping me from becoming a full on vegan is one thing: Eggs.  Most people have a problem with giving up cheese, but since I have never been a big cheese person, it wasn’t hard for me eliminate.  But eggs…  When I do eat them, I try to eat the best eggs I can find, which are cage free and organically fed but still, sometimes I think that well…that could have been a chicken.  Sometimes I get cravings for eggs and I guess that I have found that when I am sick with my GI issues (that are still being investigated, news to come) eggs are the only thing that sits well and keeps me from feeling too weak and even more sick.

So this is where my problem lies, I don’t know if I want to give up eggs.  I feel like a hypocrite sometimes when I talk about eating them even though I try and buy the ones that are better than the regular ones you buy at the grocery store…Sigh.  I know I can compensate for it’s nutrients with other delicious foods like the ones I’ve eaten below over the weekend…

(Tofu Spring Rolls with Peanut Sauce)

(PB, Apple Butter and Banana Toast)

(Veggies, grainless crackers and lots of hummus)

(Black beans with veggies on a tossed salad)

So, eggs? No eggs?

Posted in Home | 33 Comments

Side Notes: The Blog

[[Side Notes: The Blog

I saw my councelor this week after almost three weeks and had a lot to discuss.  There were many instances during the holidays that had me pulling my hair and well, scrutinizing myself in every way shape or form about my body.  It was hard at times, but she helped by pointing out that even though there were irrational/negative thoughts, that I didn't go through with them and punish myself afterwards. I was always strong enough to walk away from those thoughts and be the stronger woman.

She always asks me how my blogging is going and truthfully, I told her that I was discouraged.  I have been watching the stats and interest in the blog drop since I switched to my new website address and that things just aren't like they were.  I discussed how the only time I really get any response is when I write a Side Note, but that I hadn't felt any need to write one lately.

"Ding ding ding," she says..."Melissa, do you realize that the reason you're not writing Side Notes as much is because you really are getting better?  Yes there are still hard times that make you frustrated, but you must be having less and less of them if you don't have to write those entries anymore and ask for your friend's support."

I had never thought of it that way.  I suppose that for some time, I have felt like I have always been identified by my eating disorder on the blog and that if it wasn't there to talk about, who would want to talk to me or read the blog?  Of course that's crazy, but the thought has been there. 

So I as write less and less Side Notes (yay!) I feel like I have less and less content to write about on the blog. I love writing about the environment, but the realm that I'm involved in is not as concerned for the most part with the environment as much as I am.  I'm always frustred how to put myself out there to make people more aware of how the environment is affected simply by your everyday life and things we eat...but yeah.  I don't know, I'm kind of at a loss.

But, the point of this Side Note was to point out that well, I really am making some progress after all these years!  My Side Notes have helped since they started over two years ago and as they may dwindle, I'll still be around and healing...since I even had a moment where I told Whit I looked fat...I can't even begin to describe how crazy I thought I was the second that came out of my mouth.  Body dysmorphia problems still to work on.... ]]

Posted in Home | 19 Comments

Brother Time

My brother came to visit me this week and I decided it was “take your brother to work day!”

Like last week with Whit, I took Craig on my mountain hike with me because as I said before, it’s fun, but I don’t like hiking it alone because there are bears and mountain lions! Yep!

It was definitely colder this time because we had a haze that kept the warmth of the sun out, but it was still just as gorgeous.  I can never get over these views.

I was actually a bit worried about this hike because as of last week when I finished it, I have had some really bad pain in my right hip, which is the opposite one that I let rest all of December.  The pain has been on the very outside of my right hip and felt literally just below the skin, but would hurt every time I took a step up on the stairs and out of the step with my right foot.  It was killer so obviously I was worried.  But, within a few steps something I assume just kind of “moved” and bam, no pain! I was smiling larger than the sun and it made the hike so much more enjoyable with my bro!

We finally got home around 3 and after cleaning up started on getting some dinner ready because we were famished!  I had some extra french bread left over from last night’s homemade minestrone so I let my brother use it to make some French Bread Pizzas for dinner while I used a Flat Out wrap for mine!  We topped them with lots of veggies, some chik’n tenders and cheese for Craig.  I love pizza!

(sorry for the bad picture!)

I have work super early tomorrow morning and then get to head down and see my boy for the night of some sushi and Mission Impossible four!   Yay!

Posted in Home | 6 Comments

Pink and Blonde

I’m sorry to have left you hanging all of this weekend, but I was busy partying it up in San Diego…I know, me?  Party?  Ok, it’s probably a bit of an overstatement but I did have a good time celebrating one of my best college friend Dana’s bachelorette party.

Oh, and the pink and blond part?  I borrowed a wig from a friend and wore it part of the night…switching off between that one and a hot pink one.  Dana didn’t even recognize me with the blond one.  And my Dad didn’t know it was me either in a picture I showed him.  Hah!

(I’m so embarrassed to share this picture…)

It was an eventful night and I’m sad I didn’t get to hang out with my friends some more.  Living 3-4 hours away from them and my moving away in a few months makes it so hard to see them as often as I’d like!

I got home super late on Sunday and had a super early morning for work today, so you can bet I was pounding the coffee.  Luckily it was absolutely gorgeous out in the field today so I was able to stay awake and alert!  How could you not!

So random meal to show you, but I felt the need to after seeing Jenn make fajitas and posting about it on her blog today.  I couldn’t resist making a vegan version of her fajitas for my dinner tonight!  I just added some garlic and cumin to a mix of 1/2 a block of tempeh, onions, bell pepper and mushrooms.

I had it on a Flat Out Wrap like Jenn too, who originally got me to start eating them! I like them more than using tortillas because they don’t break!  Yay!

Hope your week is starting off on the right foot!  After a my weekend with my girl’s I was ready to work out some of that alcohol for sure…3 mile walk, 20 min boot camp and some relaxing yoga to round out the day!

Now it’s time to play with Honey…she’s giving me the stink eye because I left her for the weekend…

Meow!

Posted in Home | 12 Comments

Side Notes: Dysmorphia

Side Notes: Dysmorphia

I am making this year about my eating disorder, in a good way.  I have gone through so many steps of recover since starting to see my counselor in the summer of 2010 that I know I can kick the last part of my ED that persists and has kept me from achieving everything I know I can.  That one part that lingers and makes easy things so much harder than they should be: Body Dysmorphia.

What is Body Dysmorphic disorderThe Mayo Clinic defines it as:

Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can’t stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don’t want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called “imagined ugliness.”

I have spent the past 8 years of my disease dealing with this, which was ultimately what got the whole thing started.  To this day, I cannot look in the mirror without picking out some sort of flaw and letting it belittle me to no end.  I cannot put on a nice shirt, dress, shorts, pants, you name it, and seeing some way in which my body makes it looks bad.  Most of the time I can’t say I look pretty or feel beautiful and really, that just makes me sad.

I have written about this before, constantly checking things in the mirror, and as much as it comes and goes with certain events, it never seems to go away.  I would love to say that it has gotten better, but I have seen the signs of its return and can feel myself falling back into it’s whacked out games.  I actually had the gall to say to Whit’s face that I looked FAT.  Yeah, I said it, and as soon as I said it, I couldn’t believe it, since it’s been YEARS.

I mean, I go through moments during the month when my body is adjusting to certain things and gets more bloated than I’m comfortable with, but since I now know it’s temporary (there’s my fighting the irrational thoughts) and will go away within a few days of lots of water and just trying to relax.  But the feeling isn’t going away. It’s lingering and breaking down walls I’ve created throughout the years to keep it out.

 

 (“You are looking at the person most responsible for your safety“)

 A lot of the time these feelings reemerge when I’m uncomfortable with something.  Lately, it’s been the aspect of recovering from an injury and starting to run again, though afraid I am going to get hurt, but also the fact that I’m moving away in 2 short months for a 6 month job with potentially nothing to do thereafter.  In the past this hasn’t bothered me at all because I thrived on moving around, but after putting down roots and getting a cat to take care of (and no, I will never give her up!), I think it’s starting to leave me on edge.  I don’t know, but I’m trying hard to find out what is making me feel this way and banishing it in the only way it knows how to reveal itself, through my ED.

Fighting this thing always feels like a losing game.  I can take so many steps in a better direction and then some part of it crawls out and makes it so hard to make any progress.  Every time I slip up I become afraid to talk about it because I feel ashamed that it’s not gone yet and burdening the people I talk to about it have to hear about it, again.  It’s extremely frustrating and exhausting, but that’s the only way I’m going to get through it, right?  By fighting and talking about it?  I think so.

So in 2012, I’m going to fight harder than ever.  It’s going to be more difficult than any other year because as far as I’ve come along with the help of my counselor, soon I will be living 8 hours away from her and without her guidance.  But I believe the things she has taught me in almost the past two years will help me get through it all.  Feeling like I can’t do it won’t get me anywhere, staying positive will keep my spirits high and determined to one day say that I no longer only see flaws when I look at my body in the mirror, that I feel pretty, and that I’m beautiful.

 

Posted in ED entry, ED Side Note, Side Notes | 14 Comments

Into the Woods

I can’t complain, my first day back to work on Monday was beautiful!  I had some great company to go with it too!

This week was my week for the long hike in the mountains for work, and since Whit had Monday off, I figured he could accompany me and well, help me feel better about hiking alone! I’m sorry, but I am terrified of bears and mountain lions!

The weather was absolutely gorgeous when we got out there, mid-50′s with just a bit of wind and the sun out and blazing!

There weren’t many birds out for me to count due to well, it’s winter and they’re all basking in the sun in the tropics, but it was nice to just take in the scenery.

(I’m birding, I promise I’m doing my job)

(Cooling down half way through)

Overall the hike is 6.6 miles long, parts of it are in the sun or shaded by pine trees, downhill in dirt, uphill switchbacks on rocks, or covered in snow, but it was fun!  I was certainly huffing and puffing along the way but made it through the whole thing without any pain in my hip!

It was a great way for Whit and I to spend some quality and undisturbed time together…no cell phones, laptops, tv, email…you get the picture!  That and we are outdoor people so we thrive in it!

There may not have been many birds out for me to count, but we did see two bucks!  One had full grown antlers and the other had little ones that I originally thought we tree limbs since he was standing so close to a tree at the time I first saw it!

I hope your Monday or week back to work has started off nicely!  The weekend will be here soon enough!

 

 

Posted in Field Work, Hiking | 7 Comments